How lonely this condition is!

(originally posted June 24, 2011)

Today during my supper hour at work I was granted a small portion of grace. I sat quietly for a time before I began praying, asking God to shine His face upon me once more, to drive back the shadows of sin that well up inside me and restore the light that only He can give. I decided to read the Song of Solomon and while doing so I came to a passage that seemed to describe my current spiritual state;

5.5I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock. 6I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer.

I stopped here for a moment and thought deeply about the passage rolling it back and forth in my mind. How often have I felt as if Jesus has “withdrawn himself” from me? How often, especially of late, did I call Him but He seemed not to answer? How lonely this condition is! I prayed over this scripture and continued reading when I found it;

7.10I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.

This was testimony my soul was seeking, a confirmation that Christ’s desire was for His church, His bride, His true love. His desire was “toward me.” That while I am a miserable sinner His desire was toward me. For sometime I had been spiritually depressed “but my heart waketh.” Had I only responded sooner (5.1) I would have been saved some small spiritual trial but those who are wounded will look to Him for their salvation. (Isaiah 45.22)

jm

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